Crystallis has not been the nightmare—not entirely anyways—for Vincent it has been for others. It's done a lot of bad. BUT it's also done some good, in that it's forced him to admit (and enjoy) he has friends. He's gotten to actually know Sephiroth as a person, not the mad-man-monster-wanna-be god. With the arrival of Lucrecia, some measures of healing have begun of the wounds left.
Doesn't mean he doesn't have his own problems with his shadow though. Depending on what happens, his Shadow might also flash between his Turk-appearance (albeit with the purple eyes), or even to Dirge-Chaos Vincent--again with purple eyes though. Not least of which because Vincent is repressing things specifically relating to both periods of time in his life, as well as things currently going on. . So—Things in general Vincent is repressing/hiding/fears: --He feels guilty for not being there more for Yuffie (and now she's a crystal). He is REPRESSING that he feels like it is his fault. Because they stopped being close right about when Lucrecia showed back up, and Yuffie always felt he was stupid for blaming himself for that mess in his past.
--He is AFRAID to actually be happy, to admit that his life on Crystallis has actually been better than on Gaia. When the problems are solved, will he want to go back? After all, he killed Hojo—what is left for him on the other world?
--He FEARS that part of his motivation for keeping an eye on (and wanting to remain sane) Sephiroth, is because he won't be able to take him out. This is the son, ultimately, of the woman he loved—can he really bring himself to kill him if needed, now that he knows what he's like?
--Specific-to-his-past: All he did was watch—what was he so afraid of? Making Lucrecia yell at him again? The first person whom he formed a connection with that was close rejecting him? Bad enough he lost his father—(and he REPRESSES that he's angry at her for hiding her involvement in that from him)--- wasn't close to his mother, and had a job specifically encouraging him to be aloof. Then he has to go and fall in love, and ruin it. He is HIDING from some of his guilt, more than the obvious (which he's never hidden from.)
--Specific to his 'future/Chaos': Oh goodie, he's alive. Why couldn't he have died? Why did he have to suffer? He is REPRESSING that he is angry at Lucrecia, now that he knows the truth of who put Chaos within him. Is that how she's always seen him? A monster? Why did she wait so long? She's condemned him to a role as reaper, when the planet is ready to die and move on.
--He is AFRAID he was never actually loved at all, but used. He's REPRESSING that this thought makes him angry, because what if it's happening again.
--He's REPRESSING that he's also angry at himself—for forgiving her, for letting her back into his life.
Honestly, I have no idea if it'll turn into a fight, or a discussion, or what. I'm open to ideas.
no subject
Crystallis has not been the nightmare—not entirely anyways—for Vincent it has been for others. It's done a lot of bad. BUT it's also done some good, in that it's forced him to admit (and enjoy) he has friends. He's gotten to actually know Sephiroth as a person, not the mad-man-monster-wanna-be god. With the arrival of Lucrecia, some measures of healing have begun of the wounds left.
Doesn't mean he doesn't have his own problems with his shadow though. Depending on what happens, his Shadow might also flash between his Turk-appearance (albeit with the purple eyes), or even to Dirge-Chaos Vincent--again with purple eyes though. Not least of which because Vincent is repressing things specifically relating to both periods of time in his life, as well as things currently going on.
.
So—Things in general Vincent is repressing/hiding/fears:
--He feels guilty for not being there more for Yuffie (and now she's a crystal). He is REPRESSING that he feels like it is his fault. Because they stopped being close right about when Lucrecia showed back up, and Yuffie always felt he was stupid for blaming himself for that mess in his past.
--He is AFRAID to actually be happy, to admit that his life on Crystallis has actually been better than on Gaia. When the problems are solved, will he want to go back? After all, he killed Hojo—what is left for him on the other world?
--He FEARS that part of his motivation for keeping an eye on (and wanting to remain sane) Sephiroth, is because he won't be able to take him out. This is the son, ultimately, of the woman he loved—can he really bring himself to kill him if needed, now that he knows what he's like?
--Specific-to-his-past: All he did was watch—what was he so afraid of? Making Lucrecia yell at him again? The first person whom he formed a connection with that was close rejecting him? Bad enough he lost his father—(and he REPRESSES that he's angry at her for hiding her involvement in that from him)--- wasn't close to his mother, and had a job specifically encouraging him to be aloof. Then he has to go and fall in love, and ruin it. He is HIDING from some of his guilt, more than the obvious (which he's never hidden from.)
--Specific to his 'future/Chaos': Oh goodie, he's alive. Why couldn't he have died? Why did he have to suffer? He is REPRESSING that he is angry at Lucrecia, now that he knows the truth of who put Chaos within him. Is that how she's always seen him? A monster? Why did she wait so long? She's condemned him to a role as reaper, when the planet is ready to die and move on.
--He is AFRAID he was never actually loved at all, but used. He's REPRESSING that this thought makes him angry, because what if it's happening again.
--He's REPRESSING that he's also angry at himself—for forgiving her, for letting her back into his life.
Honestly, I have no idea if it'll turn into a fight, or a discussion, or what. I'm open to ideas.